he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
