I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
