You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
