The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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