Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
