Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
