just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize