Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Too much gin, very little bucket
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
