Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
