Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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