my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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