hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
