I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
