its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
