maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
