Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
