Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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