I need help removing her.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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