He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
