Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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