We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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