Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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