dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Randomize
