I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
