as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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