I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
