You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
