I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
