we're blogging at a bar
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
i think my cat just said my name.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
