That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
