no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize