so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
