you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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