i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
