It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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