Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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