belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Randomize