Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
