If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
