I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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