the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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