My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
