They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
