New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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