Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
