And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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