He is like the real live version of the state fair..
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
