went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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