i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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