Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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