Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
