he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
