He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
