I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
