you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
