don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
