My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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