Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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