The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
