Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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