i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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