but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
