Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize
