kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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